Pytanie: Do you think this is described right?
( Wstecz )
Answer #1:
butt has two t's in ithope this helps
Answer #2:
i found the description very detailed, so yes i found it to be rightly done :DAnswer #3:
stop capitalizing your letters to show they're screaming. it's extremely childish. how about, normal lower case letters, and simply say they're shouting. or SHOW it. like: "That little vein in Amanda's temple throbbed, and i knew she was pissed." or something. hahaha, that made my day.Answer #4:
i like the story thus far. you have some spelling/grammar errors though. but is spelled "butt" and adrenalin is adrenaline. and theres a line where the word "my" is supposed to be there, but you put "me."the story as a whole is very descriptive and good. i can mentally envision what you are talking about as i read, which i've found extremely important when reading anything. in my opinion, you could be a little more descriptive when you describe the building itself. your writing has a good fluid like flow until you get to that part.
"the kind of tall" doesn't fit right. i would also suggest describing the area that surrounds it also. we know its a tall building guarded by a metal gate, but is it in an industrial area? wooded area? surrounded by animals?
i hope i didn't come off as if im chopping your story into pieces, im just trying to give good constructive criticism.
Answer #5:
Wow! Izzi is crazy, I would have slapped her!** Powered by Yahoo Answers